Lane专栏｜“新家长，大小孩”－你的教育方式选对了吗？

Parenting styles change from generation to generation, and our generation is no exception. Read on to learn more about the new parenting lingo. Can you place yourself in a specific group? What about your spouse? Understanding how you and your partner’s parenting styles clash and match can solve marital problems and create a consistent, supportive home environment for your child. If Grandma and Grandpa are also primary caregivers, asking them to identify their parenting style and having a family discussion will lead to greater harmony in the home.

不同时代的家庭教育总是有所不同，我们这一代也不例外哦。不信你去翻翻杂志看看新一代家庭教育的各种“热词”－你能明确地把自己或者配偶归为一个特定类别吗？不妨探究对比一下你和你配偶育儿方式的异同，这样不仅对婚姻本身起到促进作用，也有利于给孩子创造一个良好的家庭氛围。如果爷爷奶奶也帮着照顾小孩，不如也问问他们怎么去诠释“为人父母”这一伟大的话题，再来一些家庭大讨论，有助于家庭和谐幸福哦～

Helicopter Parenting or Lawnmower Parenting

大管家式家长

Helicopter parents are parents who “hover” around their children, protecting them from real and imagined dangers. These parents are generally very involved in their child’s social and educational life. Helicopter parents need to eliminate mistakes and growing pains that comes with adolescence creates children who are less open and overly dependent.

大管家式家长成天围着孩子转，小心翼翼保护孩子不受任何伤害（不论是真实存在的还是想像出来的伤害）。这样的家长通常过度参与孩子的学习和社交生活。他们义无反顾竭尽所能帮助青春期的孩子减少犯错的机会和成长的烦恼——这样一来，往往导致孩子思维狭隘而且过度依赖父母。

Authoritarian Parenting

权威式家长

Authoritarian parents have high expectations of their children and have very strict rules that they expect to be followed unconditionally. According to developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, these parents "are obedience and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation." People with this parenting style often utilize punishment rather than discipline, but are not willing or able to explain the reasoning behind their rules. Children of authoritarian parents tend to associate obedience and success with love, often have low self-esteem,may have difficulty in social situations and often rebel in the teenage years.

权威式家长通常对孩子有过高的期待而且对孩子的教育非常苛刻－他们要求孩子时时刻刻遵循各种“家规”。正如发展心理学家Diana Baumrind所言，这样的家长“宣言自己的主导地位，不可违背－孩子绝对不可以违背他们的意志”。这样的家长习惯惩罚而非讲道理－还不解释这些“家规”背后的教育意义－权威就是权威。这样体制下的孩子习惯于服从，而且－只有服从了才能得到“爱护”。他们的自尊往往很脆弱，在社交活动上也常常碰钉子，甚至常常遭到同龄人排斥。

Attachment Parenting

溺爱式家长

Attachment Parenting is a parenting style that has become very fashionable but highly controversial in recent years. This parenting style involves co-sleeping (baby and parents sleeping in the same bed) for a long period of time, long-term breastfeeding, and working out a solution with your child as opposed to giving punishments or consequences. Fans of attachment parenting say that attached parents create supported, confident children. Critics claim that the Attachment Parenting style is very difficult for most parents and creates children who are not self-sufficient. Do not confuse attachment parenting with helicopter or lawnmower parents.

这些年，溺爱式家长很普遍也备受争议。溺爱包括－很长一段时间父母都和孩子一起睡觉、常年母乳、参与孩子的各种决定、从不惩罚孩子或让孩子承担责任。溺爱式家庭教育的拥护者说，这样容易培养出有安全感、自信的孩子。批判者说，这种形式培养的孩子自理能力严重不足。千万不要把溺爱式家长和上文提到的大管家式家长搞混了哦～

Slow Parenting or Free-range Parenting

放养式家长

Slow parents give their children plenty of time and space to explore the world on their own terms. Slow parents believe that children should work out who they are rather than what we want them to be. Free-range parenting believes in taking a more natural, laid back approach to raising a child. Slow and Free-range Parenting is the opposite of Helicopter and Lawn-mower Parenting.Benefits include a happy child with a stress-free childhood. Critics of Slow or Free-range parenting believe that a child who is not pushed to excel may not meet their full potential.

放养式家长给孩子充分的时间去用他们自己的方式探索世界。放养式家长坚信应该让孩子认识自己的内心而不是将自己的意志强加于孩子。放养式家长和大管家式家长刚好相反。这样的好处是孩子可以快乐成长，孩子会收获无忧无虑的童年。批判者则认为这样的孩子缺少毅力很难开发出自己的潜能追求卓越。

Authoritative Parenting

模范式家长

Authoritative Parenting is based on parenting by example.Authoritative parents set clear guidelines and are consistent in giving both praise and consequences. Because authoritative parents act as role models and exhibit the same behaviors they expect from their children, kids are more likely to internalize these behaviors. The Authoritative Parenting goal isto exhibit good emotional understanding and control so that children also learn to manage their own emotions and learn to understand others as well.Authoritative parents also allow children to act independently, which teaches kids that they are capable of accomplishing things on their own, helping to foster strong self-esteem and self-confidence. The only drawback of Authoritative Parenting is that, like anything that relies on setting an example, parents must be aware of their actions and how they respond to their children at all times.

模范式家长是绝对的“榜样”。他们为孩子设立明确的规范而且赏罚分明。因为这样的家长遵循一板一眼的教育，而且视自身为孩子的榜样，所以孩子的行为方式往往跟父母如出一辙。模范式家长以身作则为孩子示范如何控制情绪理解他人，孩子往往也如法炮制学会自我管理并善解人意。这样的家长也允许孩子独立成长，并传输给孩子一种观念——你可以通过自身努力成功－这样一来孩子往往拥有很强的自尊和自信。这种模式唯一的缺点就是家长须时时刻刻注意自己的言行给孩子的示范作用。

文 Lane

译 Gatsby

关于Lane~

Lane(宜兰)是一个拥有八年教学课程设计经验的学术专家，现担任VIPKID的学术总监。她出生在美国，很小的时候就梦想着能环游世界。大学毕业后她游学到了墨西哥和西班牙, 之后她搬到广州并遇到了自己的丈夫 – 一份新西兰人；2012年,他们可爱的女儿Stella呱呱坠地，爸爸妈妈多个国家的生活经历也让小Stella也成为了一个小小语言天才。Lane对教育的热情激励着她不断钻研和探究更好的学科英语教授方式，编写出更合适学习的教材。Lane希望语言学习能成为一种培养儿童自然激情和好奇心的体验。

Lane在VIPKID官方微信公众号“大米科技”长期撰写教育专栏，从一个在中国生活多年的美国人角度出发，内容涉及英语学习、阅读、习惯养成、儿童社交等。于每周四推出，深受家长的喜爱。