Lane专栏 | 育儿经---爸爸为什么在孩子的成长过程中如此重要？

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The Important Role of theFather

The Link betweenBaby’s Brian and Daddy’s Love

父亲的重要作用

父爱与孩子智力之间的关系

Why Dad Matters

为什么父亲如此重要

We all know how important Mommy is to the social, emotional, and cognitive development of her baby. But what many of us don’t realize is that there is an overlooked second factor to the child development equation- Daddy. Fathers play animportant role in a child's development from birth through adulthood. In fact, numerous studies have reached the same conclusion: Children with involved fathers have an advantage -- socially and academically -- over children with uninvolved fathers.

我们都知道母亲对于孩子社交、情感和认知能力的发展非常重要。但大多数人没有意识到的是孩子成长方程式中被忽略的第二个重要因素—父亲。从孩子出生到他们长大成人，父亲在这个过程中发挥了重要的作用。事实上，许多的研究都得到了相同的结论：与那些没有得到父亲尽心照顾的孩子相比，那些在称职的父亲陪伴下成长的孩子具有更高的社交和学习能力。

The Involved Father

称职的父亲

Researchers at the University of Oxford in England studied the link between paternal involvement and academic success in a study of 17,000 British children. Eirine Flouri, psychologist and one of the study's authors says, "An involvedfather figure reads to his child, takes outings with his child, is interestedin his child's education, and takes a role equal to the mother's in managinghis child." The study found that children with involved fathers continually get better grades in school and have greater social skills.

牛津大学对17000名英国儿童进行了研究，其内容为父亲的影响与孩子的学术成就之间的关系。该项研究报告的作者，心理学家艾莉娜·费洛里表示：“一个陪着孩子阅读，带着孩子出去活动的称职父亲，他会关心孩子的教育，在对孩子的管理中，他扮演着和母亲同等重要的角色。“研究发现，在称职父亲的影响下的孩子在学校会取得更好的成绩，也会拥有更好的社交能力。

The Marriage Factor

婚姻因素

In the best selling educational psychology book, “Brain Rules for Baby:How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five”, author John Medina describes a situation he encounters often when giving lectures to expecting or new parents. Fathers often ask,“What do I need to do to get my kid into Harvard?” John always answers, “Go home and love your wife.” Research has shown that the highest percent ofsuccessful, happy children grow up with parents who have a happy, loving marriage. “When couples have a strong relationship they can use their differences to complement each other, and draw on each other’s strengths, and there is a much greater likelihood that both mother and father will be good parents”, he argues.

约翰·麦迪那在他的教育心理学畅销书-- “Brain Rules for Baby:How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five”中描述了他给那些希望成为父母或是刚刚成为父母作报告的过程中经常遇到的一种情况。父亲们通常会问：“我要怎么样做才能让我的孩子被哈佛大学录取？”而约翰总是说：“回家吧，好好爱你的妻子。”有研究显示，大部分成功、快乐的孩子，他们的父母拥有幸福、恩爱的婚姻。约翰认为“当夫妻关系和睦稳定时，他们可以互补，发挥彼此的优点，这样母亲和父亲两个人可以成为优秀的父母。”

Sharing the Responsibilities

分担责任

A dad parenting as part of a caring and respectful team with his partner automatically decreases the amount of stress experienced by children because the day to day parenting responsibilities are shared, and the child is more likely to experience a safe, secure and stable environment. Also, teamwork between parents allows each parent to more fully enjoy his or her time with the child, and potentially have more time, because the day to day challenges of parenting are reduced.

如果在生活中父亲尊重母亲并且参与到照顾孩子的过程中，这在无形中可以减少孩子所感受到的压力。因为，父亲分担了日常生活中母亲照顾孩子的压力，孩子就会在一个安全和稳定的环境中成长。同时，父亲与母亲的分工减少了每天照看孩子的压力，这使得他们有精力，有更多的时间尽情地享受和孩子在一起的时光。

The Benefits, According to the Scientists

益处----由科学家提出

The involved father has many positive influences on his child’s development. Read on for more Daddy benefits from leading psychologists and education institutions.

称职的父亲会对孩子的成长有各方面积极的影响。一些著名的心理学家及教育研究院也支持此观点：

Social-Emotional Development

社交、情感的发展

· Early involvement by fathers in the care of their child is a source of emotional security for the child (U.S.Department of Health and Human Services, 2011).

父亲在孩子幼年时期给予关心和爱护，这是孩子获得情感安全的来源。

· When fathers acknowledge their child’s emotional response andhelp them address it with a problem-solving approach, the children score higher on tests of emotional intelligence (Civitas, 2001).

如果父亲能够察觉到孩子的情绪反应，并能引导孩子以解决问题的方式处理，那么孩子在情商测试中得分会更高。

· Quality father-and-child time increases self-esteem, confidence, social competence, and life skills (Amato, 1994).

父亲和孩子多相处，孩子的自尊心，自信，社交能力，生活技能各方面都会得到提高。

· Mothers may use more parenting techniques of gentleness and security, while fathers may favor independence and confidence-building. These approaches help children understand the world in different ways; they balance each other (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2004).

母亲可能会更多地扮演温和、给孩子安全感的角色。父亲则更倾向于培养孩子的独立性，建立孩子的自信心。父母亲的教育方式不同却可以互补，可以让孩子从不同的角度了解这个世界。

· Rough-and-tumble play with fathers can help children manage aggressive impulses and learn to control their emotions during physical activity (Goldman, Salus, Wolcott, & Kennedy, 2003).

孩子与父亲打闹玩耍的过程中，孩子能学会如何控制自己的攻击冲动，在体育活动中也能控制自己的情绪。

Intellectual Development

智力发展

· “A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities”(Pruett, 2000, as cited in Rosenberg & Wilcox, 2006, Section I.2.2, para. 1).

大量研究表明：有父亲陪伴长大的孩子智商会比较高，语言与认知能力也更好。

· Fathers tend to do more than mothers to promote their child’s independence and exploration of the outside world (Rosenberg & Wilcox,2006)

在培养孩子的独立性以及探索世界的能力方面，父亲更倾向于承担比母亲更多的责任。

· Fathers are more likely to find new and unexpected ways toplay with familiar toys, which expands their child’s creative horizons (Ladd, 2000).

父亲更有可能尝试新的、有创意的方式带孩子玩玩具，这样能够培养孩子的创新能力。

Language Development

语言能力发展

· Fathers tend to use more “wh-” questions and more requests for clarification than mothers, both of which encourage conversation (Rowe, Cocker, & Pan, 2004).
相对于母亲，父亲更倾向于问孩子”wh”开头的问题（是什么？是谁？什么时候？在哪里？为什么？），引导孩子用具体、清晰的方式回答。

· Two-year-olds whose fathers use a more varied vocabulary have greater language skills a year later (Pancsofar & Vernon-Feagans, 2006).

父亲在和两岁大孩子沟通时词汇表达越丰富，一年之后孩子的语言能力会越高。

· Girls whose fathers read to them are likely to have better verbal skills (Bing, 1963).

有父亲陪着阅读的女孩，长大后会有更好的口头表达能力。

Motor Development

运动技能发展

· Six-month-olds whose fathers are involved in their care score higher on tests of motor development (Gestwicki, 2010).

有父亲照顾的6个月大的婴儿，运动测试中的得分会更高。

· Fathers tend to play more one-on-one, rough and tumble games with their children, which encourages large motor development, lets children explore what their bodies can do, and helps them learn to regulate their emotions when engaging in impulsive physical contact (Rosenberg & Wilcox, 2006).

父亲更倾向与孩子玩一些相对激烈的游戏，孩子会有很大的运动量，身体潜能也得到开发。在这个过程中孩子能够学会在必要时控制自己的情绪，避免肢体冲突。

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