美国老师 Lane 原创专栏｜我看二胎，生还是不生？这是一个问题

Everyone asks me when I’m going to have babynumber two. My mother and father think it’s time. My mother-in-lawandfather-in-law think it’s time. Our neighbors and Stella’s revolving Chinesegrandparents think it’s time. In fact, it’s hard for me to leave the housethese days without being stopped by a random Chinese grandmother in ourcommunity to discuss the pros and cons of Baby 2.

好多人都问我什么时候给Stella生个弟弟或者妹妹。我的父母、公婆、邻居都觉得我该要第二个孩子了。事实上，这些天我出门工作都总被邻居家的奶奶拉住讨论生二胎的利弊。

My husband and I are conflicted. Baby 2 is in the future, definitely. (Possibly Baby 3, although my husband doesn’t know about that yet.) We look back on the first year of Stella’s life and remember the sleepless nights and the constant feedings. I remind my husband that he’d better be ready to take out the trash, do any heavy lifting,and bow to my every whim if I’m going to give birth to another baby- something that didn’t feel very good the first time around and I’m sure doesn’t get that much better the second.

我跟我丈夫在这个事情上观念并不一致。当然，我一定会有第二个孩子、第三个孩子甚至第四个孩子的。我跟丈夫会想起有Stella的第一年特别辛苦，没日没夜地照顾她。我跟丈夫说如果要生二胎他最好做好吃苦耐劳的准备，比如成堆的垃圾，干不完的体力活，还有我的各种“奇思妙想”。

Most parents who consider a second little bundle of joy have questions. What is the best age gap between children? Can timing reduce sibling rivalry and create a more harmonious family structure? Let’s turn to the experts to answer some common “tobaby or not to baby” questions.

想生二胎的粑粑麻麻有很多疑问。比如，第二个孩子跟第一个孩子差多少岁最好？孩子多了如何构建和谐的家庭氛围？让我们看看专家怎么说。

Less Than 2 YearsApart:

两年之内生第二胎的利弊

Pros- If you can embrace the intensity and chaos that will inevitably follow a two babies in two years, you may be rewarded within a year or so with kids who entertain each other well and are nicely in sync when it comes to toys and activities.Children born very close together can sometimes form an unbreakable bond.

利：如果你能适应两年之内生第二个孩子带来的所有紧张和混乱，那么你在生完的一年之内就可以享受两个孩子带来的天伦之乐。年龄相仿使他们能分享玩具一起玩游戏。孩子之间的情感纽带会更强。

Cons- Money. The benefit of spacing out children is that it allows some time for your wallet and bank account to recover. You can also expect to be in child overdrive. All of those potty accidents, temper tantrums, and sleepless nights double with the addition of a baby two.

弊：经济负担。生孩子价格不菲，而且会让你体力透支。突发事件，莫名的情绪，不眠之夜都会加倍到来。

2 to 4 Years Apart-

2-4年内要第二个孩子

Pros- With your older child heading off for a day of kindergarten fun, you'll get the freedom to bond with your new baby. Siblings are still close enough in age that they enjoy the same kind of toys and games. This may also be a good move career-wise, as it allows for some working time between pregnancies.

利：大一点的孩子已经上幼儿园了，这样一来你将有更多时间照顾你的小孩子。孩子们年龄上也不会相差太远，还是可以分享玩具一起做游戏。这也是不错的选择，在生二胎之前你还有一点时间可以工作。

Cons- A first bornchild who is accustomed to all of the attention may feel resentful when the new baby is introduced into the mix. By quickly showing the older child how toproperly treat and take care of the new baby, firstborn children can better adapt to the new addition. Constantly saying “no” may be seen as taking the newbaby’s side and foster more jealously.

弊：第一个孩子已经习惯了爸妈把所有注意力放到他身上，所以第二个孩子的到来会让他感到不受重视了。要好好引导老大接受和照顾弟弟妹妹。如果经常拒绝老大的一些请求会增重孩子之间的火药味哦～

5 Years Apart or More:

五年之后再生

Pros- Many parents with children of this age gap feel that taking five or more years between pregnancies is the easiest on a marriage. You’re smarter and more confident as a couple, able to handle the rigors of parenting while still making time to besure your marriage is healthy and happy. The older child is also more mature and may accept the role as “baby helper” with a sense of pride.

利：很多五年之后再生第二个孩子的家庭通常认为在婚姻里这是最合理的方式。一方面，父母更加成熟自信了，也更能灵活应对家庭生活的种种琐事。第一个孩子也可以更成熟地照顾弟弟妹妹。

Cons- With a big age gap, it may be difficult for children to become close friends. For example, a six year old is starting elementary school and no longer interested in “baby things” like playing blocks or going down the little slide on the playground.The return to diapers may be a shock to the system for the adults in the house also.

弊：年龄差别大了，两个孩子可能不如同龄人亲密。例如，一个六岁的孩子开始准备上小学，他就不再对小孩子的玩意感兴趣啦。对家里的大人来说，清理孩子的尿布说不定又成为一件大事了～

文：Lane

译：Gatsby

Lane 简介～

Lane is an education professional with eight years of experience teaching and designing curriculum. Lane was born in a small city in America and as a child dreamed of traveling the world. After graduating from university and living in Mexico and Spain, Lane moved to Guangzhou, China. She met her husband(a New Zealander) in Guangzhou and, in 2012, their daughter Stella was born. Lane’s passion for education continues to motivate her to create educational materials that benefit children both cognitively and socially. Lane aspires to make language learning an experience which captures and cultivates children’s natural passion and curiosity.

宜兰是一个拥有八年的教学课程设计经验的学术专家。她出生在美国一个小城市，在小时候就梦想着环游世界。大学毕业后,住在墨西哥和西班牙,后来她搬到了中国的广东。在广州，她遇到了她的丈夫(一个新西兰人), 2012年,他们的女儿呱呱坠地。宜兰对教育的热情激励着她对教材编写的热情, 为儿童和社会做出贡献。宜兰希望语言学习能成为一种培养儿童自然激情和好奇心的体验。

家长问题收集：

如果粑粑麻麻有什么关于儿童教育的问题，可以在我们订阅号留言回复，我们会收集起来请Lane分享哦～如果您的问题被我们选中，会有一份小小惊喜哦～～